Megan Thee Stallion - Megan Act II: REVIEW

 Yo, what’s good, fam, it's your boy Denzel back up in the mix for another review, hot off the presses, namsayin'? This rap chick, Megan Thee Stallion just dropped a fresh mixtape, like, minutes ago, and since I got nothin' goin' on, figured I’d give it a spin and break it down for y’all. Ain’t been hearin' much buzz about it, which is kinda wild seein' how Megan's trendin' heavy nowadays, but hey, we gon’ get into it anyway.

1. Bigger in Texas -

Yo, this beat hits nice, got that flow, but it's leanin' a bit heavy on the electronic piano keys. And that line, "Ass sittin' up like a horse's"... nah, that ain't it. Bin that mess girl. Some of these lyrics be comin' off kinda cheesy, feelin' like the producers dressed up old school vibes in fresh kicks. But yo, her flows are mad clean. Overall, it’s a solid jam.

Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 6/10

14/20

2. Bourbon -

Intro got that smooth roll, same kinda flow as the first joint. She flexin' again, throwin' subliminal shade Nicki's way. And that line, "He text me 911, he needs that pussy urgent"? Girl, that’s corny as hell. There’s gotta be fresher ways to spin that without recyclin' bars. But yo, when she switches it up at 2m07sec? That’s cold! Overall, it’s a tough track.

Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 7/10

15/20

3. Number One Rule -

Yo, she steppin' it up here! This track straight flames. First verse hittin' right. Wish she’d switch up her flow more often, but damn, this is that hardcore raw rap. Got me wanna wild out, speed down the highway or somethin', you feel me?

Beats - 9/10
Lyrics - 8/10
    
17/20
    
4. Roc Steady ft. Flo Milli -

Aight, this beat got me confused. It ain't exactly soft, but it still got that retro Atari vibe with some extra bass thrown in. And then they hit us with, "You couldn't beat me with a brush and a palette"—ayo, hol' up, what’s that even mean? Feels like someone done goofed and left it in the final cut. And yo, enough with the Freddy Krueger name-drops, we heard it a million times already from other rappers, word. That hook's mad annoying, for real but yo, I can see college chicks hoppin' on tables and twerkin' to this joint. It’s just whatever to me, honestly.

Beats - 6/10
Lyrics - 7/10

13/20

5. Best Friend -

This beat kinda smooth, I’ll give it that, but that intro sample keeps poppin' in like an unwanted guest. Then the hook comes in all extra, like straight-up estrogen for the ears. And now we’re singin'? Aight, this ish is STRAIGHT UP SOY INJECTIONS. Feels like this one tryna make dudes catch feelings or somethin', like I'm gettin' free gender reassigment surgery just listenin' to this one yo. Ladies’ anthem for sure. I'mma skip this one.

Beats - 6/10
Lyrics - 7/10

13/20

6. Right Now -

Yo, we done finally escaped growin' a pair on the last track - a pair of ovaries. Now we got this. Beat ain’t doin' much but just bein' there. Flow’s fire, though—Megan’s ridin' it hard, makin' it pop. But she really goin' over the whole song again? C’mon, we ain’t need the replay like that. It’s good, but once was enough.

Beats - 5/10
Lyrics - 8/10

13/20

7. Mamushi Remix ft. Twice -

Aight, this joint starts out cool. They spittin’ in Japanese now, yo—I’m feelin’ it even if I don’t get a word dem chicks sayin'. I always been down with that global rap vibe. Then Megan comes out like, "I stay fly, airplane mode"—like, c’mon, girl…that ish is MAD CORNY b. Plus, they keep repeatin’ "Star" in the hook; it’s mad annoying. These rhymes be givin' me Dr. Seuss vibes, no lie. I gotta say, Twice got the edge here—she ain’t doin' nothin’ wild, but her flow’s on point n I'll listen to her any day. It’s decent.

Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 6/10

13/20

8. TYG ft. Spiritbox -

Yo, what’s up with all this yellin'? Megan, did you really drop a screamin' track? Ayo son… y'all new school rappers gotta chill with screamin’ over regular beats. This right here’s a boom bap beat; no need to wild out like that. Reminds me of PlayThatBoiZay’s lame scream rap tape from earlier in the year, word. And the way she stretched out "boring" was… nah, that ain’t it. Ugh, someone hit skip. Is that a guitar?! Yeah, I’m out. Wack.

Beats - 4/10
Lyrics - 5/10

9/20

9. Motion -

Now this is flames! Megan’s doin' her thing here. That flow in the second verse? Straight fire, yo. Beat’s cold too. Wish she gave us a third verse, though. This one's mad hot, but too dang short.

Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 8/10

16/20

10. Fell in Love -

Ayo, this beat’s fresh. Got that Marley Marl kinda vibe, like "Nobody Beats the Biz"—I’m diggin' it. Piano doesn’t hit quite right with it, though. Megan talkin' 'bout her man; it’s aight, but some lines got me rollin’ my eyes. Endin' samples are on point, though. Coulda been fire if it wasn’t for that piano and some corny lines.

Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 6/10

14/20

11. He Think I Love Him -

This beat sound like she done gone an' jacked the thing off some early 2000s Ludacris tape. What was she even sayin' here? Track’s mad short, felt kinda half-baked. Skip.

Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 6/10

13/20

12. Like a Freak -

The flow’s solid, no doubt—same kinda energy the whole album had. Beat’s got a lil’ electronic twist, it’s aight. Girl's got her lyrics mad on point here, especially that “ID, JPG, NPC” scheme. Too bad the track’s so short.

Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 9/10

16/20

13. Neva Play ft. RM from BTS -

Yo, right when you think this joint might be heat, boom, the name BTS pops up. This could either slap or be straight garbage.

And yep, here we are - this track's lookin' rough. The intro got zero vibe, mad corny. Flow’s tight, no doubt, but it feels like Megan’s tryna jack Denzel Curry's style off of "Sked" which was a classic for the 2020s by the way, on me.

Then RM hops on the track, spittin’. My guy sounds like he just crawled out of some dusty tomb in Korea, cleared his tissue paper throat from the cicadas hatchin' in there and the graveyard dust, then hit up some YouTube battles for his lines. First half’s like, "eh," and the second half? Bro sounded like he hit up Megan for ghostwritin' his lines. Nah, son, there ain't no heart in this; this ain’t it. Weak as all get out, an' speakin' of get out, get homie out of the studio an' throw whoever let 'im in out too.

Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 5/10

12/20

14. Hiss -

Whoa, what’s up with that intro? Flow’s mad strong. I remember this one – it’s takin’ shots at Nicki Minaj. Megan's got some sharp lines up in here. Middle section rides nice, but that second half's got a kinda choppy, basic flow. Still, she’s spittin’, and those last bars are strictly pure heat.

Honestly, I could spin this again, but that middle part’s killin' the vibe a bit. Lyrics got bars, and flow's pretty dope, but that middle mess is a turn-off. Beat's kinda... I dunno, stringy? Hard to call. But that Megan’s Law line? Solid jab at Nicki Minaj, AKA The Bride of Frankenstein. Decent diss, but yo, it only succeeded because homies would rather hear puppies gettin' stomped to death in a plastic bag than the diss track Nicki wrote, word.

Beats - 6/10
Lyrics - 6/10

12/20

15. Rattle -

For real? More Nicki disses? Intro’s a lil off, but the flow goes hard. If only the lyrics kept up. Feels like a Hiss remix, low-key. Flow’s bangin’, but them lyrics kind of ain't hittin'. And the hook starts gettin’ real tiresome after a bit.

Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 6/10

13/20

16. Figueroa -
 
Aight, yo, that sample on the intro's straight up fire, word. All them samples hittin' nice, but damn b, Megan over here droppin' them sound effects. Nah, that’s mad wack. Here we go again, another Nicki Minaj diss? For real? Yo, milkin' the beef aside, sista's really goin' hard with that "I’m a brat, not a Barbie" line. But yo girl, switch it up, namsayin'? Is this joint gonna be, like, is this whole joint just Nicki disses? Guess they ain’t kiddin' about fury n' a woman scorned. It’s got vibes, but it’s the samples that carryin' this track, real talk.

Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 6/10

13/20

17. Where Them Girls At? -

This intro? Annoying as hell, for real. And the beat? Nah, not feelin' it. It's like a never-ending loop, man, just makes me wanna grab a bat and smash the speaker till the DJ cries whatever almond milk shake he's slurpin' down. Then she switches it up with some bars, beat gets a lil' better, but that hook's some straight up torture. This is the kinda ish Kim Jong Un's torturing dem spies wit' up in Pyongyang, word. And yup, more shots at Nicki. Y’all bustas was on Kendrick for draggin' that beef with Drake, but Megan out here turnin' half of a whole album into one long Nicki diss. Wild.

Beats - 6/10
Lyrics - 6/10

12/20

18. Broke His Heart -

Man, this one’s straight up basic. Seems like we finally got a track that ain't on that Nicki tip. Just the usual ratchet-girl rap flow. But, yo, gotta say it. Girl's hooks be up in here soundin' like they just copy-pasted from one track to another. Way too repetitive.

Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 6/10

13/20

19. B.A.S. ft. Kyle Richh -

The flow is alright, I guess, but that beat soundin' like it’s straight out of a Parisian chick's earmuffs or sumthin'. Like, the Fluffy Fairies of Killygillycuddy anthem if they was up in here invadin' Earth, word. This beat the stuff the Tickle Monster's got on his boombox. Hook’s cute or whatever, but I’m pullin' rose petals out my ears tryna recover from that. And yo, who let this Kyle dude in the studio? My guy raps like he be that big, sweaty 13-year-old redheaded bully rockin' a Ninja Turtles tee, demandin' ya lunch money. This is bad, like, yo, I could just roast some homeless dude on the corner and record him shoutin' back at me – would be a better track than this.

Beats - 3/10
Lyrics - 4/10

7/10

20. Otaku Hot Girl -

Aight son, I don't know if we EVEN GETTIN' DOWN WIT THIS. The title alone got me throwin’ up flags. Megan ain't even Japanese! But yo, we gotta give sista an even break. Let's play it.

Word, this is bad, I ain't even trippin'. She out here talkin’ ‘bout "Kyoto" and "hirigoto," whatever that is, then droppin’ lines like "Sexy jutsu, I feel like Naruto"?! Yo, I’m cringin’ so hard I might just cringe outta existence, find myself in Ripley's Believe It or Not. Like, I’m cool with anime, but this is cornball levels on another level. And now she sayin' she’s a Sensei?! Ayo b, I done cringed so hard from this I'mma go turn into a sensei myself. I’m done, wake me up when it’s over.

Beats - 5/10
Lyrics - 5/10

10/20

21. Find Out -

So, we goin' from that culture vulture anthem right into...another ratchet girl rap. Damn, I’m tired of this same old same old sex rap crap. The idea coulda been tight, got a few clever lines like that ring size bit, but come on, how many times we gotta hear this? Then she hits us with:

"He eating vegan pussy
He eating healthy with it!
Make the pussy smile
Told him take a selfie with it"

Sista, the last thing I be needing is imaginin' some chick's pussy GRINNIN' at me. If that’s happenin', I’m ghostin’ in seconds. Nah, make that milliseconds. Nah, just forget it—I’m stickin’ with my girl anyways.

One minute in, and this joint’s already messy as hell. And don’t even get me started on that line "He my lil' whoopty whoo." Yo, I’m out.

Beats - 6/10  
Lyrics - 3/10  

9/20  

22. Boa -

The beat’s solid, aight. And, look, another Nicki diss. How original, no? The hook? Meh, it’s passable at best. But those rhymes are amateur hour sista. Feels like they squeezed out the last drops of her ideas ‘round Track 16. For real.

Beats - 7/10  
Lyrics - 5/10  

12/20  

23. Mamushi ft. Yuki Chiba -

Ain't nobody asked for this. This the original Mamushi track. Yuki's this Japanese goofball out here, lookin' like he got scribbles all over his face from some kid's Sharpie, an' soundin' like Cupid got laryngitis. Dude’s droppin’ these Xanax lullabies, doin' some sangin' stuff, vomitin' cotton all over the track. Yeah, Megan’s bars kinda hit in the flow department, but lyrically this some straight cornfields, son. Now Yuki’s tryin’ to flow? Ayo, I’ve heard Japanese rap, ya boy's checked full albums of Japanese rap, and this dude musta been scrapin' the bottom. I could put the Japanese prime minister’s Kyoto tariff speech on a beat and still have more heat than this. Get him outta here, just get this fool the heck out.

Beats - 5/10  
Lyrics - 2/10  

7/20  

24. Accent ft. GloRilla -

GloRilla poppin' in, and Megan actin’ like she’s tryin' to be Japanese or somethin’ AGAIN. Bars ain’t too wild, but at least GloRilla’s spittin' without the cultural cosplay. It’s decent, I guess.

Beats - 6/10  
Lyrics - 6/10  

12/20  

25. Paper Together ft. UGK -

Yo, how'd this cornball chick link up with UGK tho?! Alright, who cares, let's vibe.

The beat’s soft, like it’s on the verge of fallin' apart. UGK come through nice on their verses, then Megan rolls in and messes it up, tryna outdo them instead of complementin' their flow. That third verse from UGK is straight fire tho.

Beats - 5/10  
Lyrics - 7/10  

12/20

26. Spin ft. Victoria Monét -

Man, this beat is trash, straight to the dumpster. She talkin' 'bout she dropped six disses on Nicki? Aight, but this hook tho… just listenin' makes me feel like I’m gonna melt into some kinda strawberry slushie, for real. I don't usually be talkin' like this but yo, I'm getting these straight up "ewwwwww" vibes.

Beats - 5/10
Lyrics - 4/10

9/20

27. Downstairs DJ -

First line out an' this chick done already gone and messed up. I'mma just let y'all hear this yaselfs, you'll see exactly what a brother means. Yo, this track is straight foul. She out here talkin' bout sleepin' in her own mess? Get outta here, sis, go learn some self-respect an' hygiene, word.

Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 4/10

Total - 11/20

28. Miami Blue ft. Big Krit & Buddha Bless -

Finally, a beat worth bouncin' to. Krit came thru decent, and Megan stepped it up on the bars. This one, I can vibe with—ain't nothin' special, but it’s cool.

Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 6/10

Total - 14/20

29. Worthy -

Oh nah, oh nah, oh nah! Soon as that beat dropped, I turned into Becky at the mall, this 20 sumthin' skinny white chick rockin' crop tops and shoppin' bags at the mall wit' my girlfriends. Ayo, somebody please tell me this is just an intro beat…

It ain't.

This here is pure mall music, straight pop-cheese. Oh, now she just said "lookin’ for a bargain" word? Ayo, WHO THE HELL PRODUCED THIS??!! Fire 'em ASAP, nah, don't be firin' im, I want that sucka murdered, head on a platter n all that, b. This don’t even belong on a rap album! Sounds like a bunch of puppies cryin' for milk—what kinda mess is this??

Beats - 0/10  
Lyrics - 2/10  

Total - 2/20

30. Moody Girl -

Alright, we got that emo vibe goin’ on. It’s like if Melanie Martinez went street. No shade to Melanie, she owns this kinda vibe, but Megan's up in here makin' this just soundin’ like some recycled drama. Get it outta here; the hook is pure trash.

Beats - 6/10  
Lyrics - 5/10

Total - 11/20

31. Cobra

Aight, Cobra—yo,  FINALLY!! Hallelujah, we're done with this mess!! This joint's got some electric guitar slidin' in, but now it’s soundin' like a busted Atari game. Like, what’s goin' on here? It’s alright, but what’s the vibe they goin' for? We just had a whole album of nasty talk and then they throw in this sad track to wrap it up? For real, why switch it up now? Stay in your lane, yo.

Beats - 3/10  
Lyrics - 6/10  

Total: 9/20  

Man, I'm so done wit this waste of time. Final tally?

366/620.
59%.

Yo, this whole album’s gotta be summa the most dull, weird, try-hard junk this year. This is what happens when a rapper's just gettin’ played by their label. You can tell they done pushed this girl to drop sumthin' even when she ain't feelin' it. Too long, too soft, too pop, and mad basic. The first disc got a couple bangers, but then Disc Two's just a complete circus. Forget this whole thing and the clowns behind it.

Megan’s got talent, but it feels like the production team is a buncha sorority chicks who dye their hair hot pink an' be gettin' Taylor Swift vinyls with Barbie collections. Or maybe wannabe suburban hip-hop heads from Kentucky who learned beats from MC Hammer and JoJo Siwa videos. Then they got the nerve to throw in that mess, “Otaku Hot Girl”—yo, what is THAT even? Sis, you’re black! Show up for your fam, your community; don’t be spittin' in some fake anime accent talkin' about you gettin' upskirted in a kimono. We get it, you like Japan, but AIN'T NO ONE asked for that. AIN'T NO ONE be NEEDIN' THAT SISTA!! Save your cash and your time, fam. This tape ain't worth it. I’m out.