Yo, what’s good, fam? Gather 'round party people, it's ya boy Denzel in the building, your go-to music critic, the Certified Number One, and yeah, that annoying trolling sucker y'all love ta hate.
Alright, peep game.
Denzel ain't really vibin' with dude on the track. He ain't the
trashiest out there, but he fell off harder than anyone I've seen in a
minute, and sometimes, his joints are straight-up unbearable. But hey,
we’re giving him a shot. Let's dive in.
First
up, the album cover. 21 straight jacked Illmatic's cover, putting
himself as the kid on that iconic joint. If son's bold enough to bite
Nas, this album better be fire. I'm talking raw hip-hop, lyrical
acrobatics, and some next-level bars... Let's see what's poppin'.
1. American Dream
- Nice start. Sounds like his mom talking about him and her dream of
raising him right in a good place. I’m diggin' this intro. No rating
though.
2. All of Me - This track's aight. One
thing that boils my potato about 21 is how he has to adlib after every
damn line. We get it, you’re 21 Savage. Stop yelling it every bar. And
what's up with this line:
"I got rich and opened more doors than a doorman"
Corny as hell. And this hook is straight-up dumb. What's this:
"My shooter's pescatarian but he eat up all the beef"
Dude
really thought he dropped some super hot fiyahhh with that one. Nah,
it's trash. Bet a bunch of folks didn't get it either. This beat too?
Weak on the bass and just weird.
Beats - 4/10
Lyrics - 5/10
9/20
3. Redrum - Yo, check this, Redrum's got mad hype around it, folks say it’s his illest joint yet. We’ll see ‘bout that.
Starts
with some light Spanish flava, then the beat drops. At least the beat
got some grit, but sounds like he jacked it off some random dude on
YouTube.
He’s spittin'. Flow’s aight but the
lyrics are hit or miss. Half this joint is corny. Dude really used the
same rhyme scheme for 17 bars straight. It's a joke. If this dropped
post-Kendrick/Drake beef, I’d swear homeboy heard Drake rhyme "-ation"
every line in that "Heart Part 6" and thought that was dope. This rap’s
strung together like he hit up rhymezone.com and slapped words together
without a thought for making it poetic. Straight middle school level,
son.
Second verse switches up. 21 Crumpets
realized he overused the same rhyme and decided not to rhyme at all this
time! These bars are some of the worst crimes against rap yet:
"How many homies got the belt? (A lot)
Catch 'em at the light, he get nailed (Bow)
9-1-1, somebody help"
This cat needs to be taken behind the barn and taught a lesson. Who told him this was lyrics?? Then he comes out with:
"I'm a gangster, I ain't taking shit back pussy"
Yeah, real tough. Dude made the cover of Vogue too, like all the real gangstas. I mean, yo man, just peep this hardcore gangsta:
Word is bond, y'all, I laughed out loud at that line.
The rest is just 21 Crumpets getting his Dr. Seuss on. Nothing worth your time.
The fact that this trash is in the Billboard Top 5 is a crime. This dude makes parody songs on late NWA albums sound deep. Damn.
Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 2/10
9/20
4. N h.i.e
- This one's got Doja Cat on it. Doja Cat's like those pet rocks – had
mad promise and then fell off hard. Last I heard, she was painting
herself black in a bathtub for a music video.
It's
starting. Sounds like another love song. 21 Average must be growing
corn when he ain’t in the studio dropping these generic gangster tracks
to try and grab up some gullible broads. Just check this line: he's
bragging about how he snatched some brother's girl and they're always
getting it on. Then he says:
"I'll pop his ass like a pimple"
The ex-boyfriend that is. Played out metaphor. Every rapper's said this a million times.
Doja
Cat comes in sounding like your chain-smoking grandma with a voice box.
Or like that bald lady on Star Trek who got absorbed into the Voyager
probe. Anyways, Doja drops the funniest line on the album for real:
"I would never start no petty beef that will not fly, ad-lib"
That's
actually clever, a twist on how 21 Crumpets ad-libs every damn line.
Even they must know it's wack but keep doing it. This beat though?
Lightweight as hell. Feels like someone made it and told son to float
away to Happyland on it. Maybe Doja Cat made it, 'cause it's girly as
hell.
Beats - 3/10
Lyrics - 4/10
7/20
5. Sneaky
- This dude is so bad at rhyming, he's the Dr. Seuss of hip-hop now.
Basic and all over the place on subject matter. Then we get the worst
friend shout-out of the year:
"Stones in my ears, colder than Jermaine"
A
shout-out to J. Cole, aka Young Eeyore, aka Might Delete Later. But
it's so convoluted. Bet I ain't the only one who had to think about how
Jermaine could be cold. Cold and Cole rhyme, get it? Nah, didn't think
so.
This song's weak. Geesh.
Beats - 3/10
Lyrics - 2/10
5/20
6. Pop Shit
- Metro Boomin made this beat, so it better be dope. Metro beats are
like girdles, hiding all the flaws and making anyone look fly. He ain't
no Preemo but he's aight.
21’s just rapping about being tough and rich again. Pointless. And the hook's trash. Without Metro, this would be garbage.
Now, the dumbest way to talk about weed:
"What you smoking? Uncle Snoop
It smell like gas, I think somebody pooped"
Ridiculous,
gross, lame, and lazy. Not even worth more smack talk. This whole rap's
dumb. Every song's about little boy stuff in the lamest way. Metro
Boomin should've kicked these cats out the studio, word. But he hangs
with Future, Mumble Rapper Number One, so maybe he's immune to this wack
ish.
Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 2/10
9/20
7. Letter to my brodda -
Looks like 21 Crumpets is trying to get his Nas on, copying "One Love"
from Illmatic. 21 Crumpets thinks this album's Illmatic, remember. So,
track number 7 is a letter just like Nas. Let’s see if 21 Average can
fill those boots he done up and jacked.
Flow's
terrible, rhyme scheme’s basic. But this actually has some content. Son
can make a decent song when he tries. Some of the story’s scattered, but
it’s okay. Refreshing – no fake gangster posing, no bad lyrics, no
stealing other dudes' girls. Thanks, 21.
Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 5/10
12/20
8. Dangerous
Yo, this track's got Lil Durk on it. Durk’s name might as well be a synonym for trash raps. Let’s peep it tho.
Back
to the same old 21 Average song. Durk actually sounds aight, but his
bars got no substance. This joint's whatever, nothin’ I’d bump again.
When your feature outshines you, that’s tough, my guy. Yikes.
Beats - 5/10
Lyrics - 4/10
9/20
9. Nee-nah
Travis
is on this one. He’s rhymin’ the same word like three times in a row.
Man, Travis could knock me out with this flow—straight lyrical NyQuil.
And 21 just does his usual thing.
Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 3/10
10/20
10. See the Real
This
track's called "See the Real," but we ain’t seen nothin’ real yet. It’s
just some weak attempt at deepness. Basically, it's just bragging,
depression, and "girls ain't worth jack." Nothing pops off here. The
bass on this beat is mad weak too.
Beats - 3/10
Lyrics - 2/10
5/20
11. Prove it
I’ve
accepted that this whole thing’s gonna be fake, light on the lyrics,
and soft—hella soft. This dude makes Drake look like a philosopher. 21
Savage must be majoring in agriculture 'cause this track is pure corn.
So weak it shouldn’t even be on this album.
Beats - 2/10
Lyrics - 2/10
4/20
12. Should’ve Worn a Bonnet
Four
more tracks left. Listening to this project has been straight labor. So
many wack lines hittin’ me upside my head, my brain’s asking, "Who
threw that brick?!"
This beat sounds like pop
for preteens. Then it switches. 21 spits some stuff and then Brent
Faiyaz comes on. This is so soft and weak. How does this dude even pull
girls with this act? He had a couple decent flows for about ten seconds,
then remembered he’s 21 and went back to his mid flows. Sigh.
Beats - 3/10
Lyrics - 3/10
6/20
13. Just Like Me
Burna
Boy's on this joint. That's dope. Burna’s doing his thing. But then 21
starts yappin' some wack stuff about girls. That was a buzzkill,
especially cutting in on Burna mid-verse. At least Burna holds down the
hook. If 21 tried that hook, his fans would roast him.
21
still can't write decent rhymes. I ain't even listing the cheesy lines
no more. It's a corny fest. The fact Burna Boy's on this is whack. That
dude had to head back to Lagos with this track on his record.
Beats - 3/10
Lyrics - 3/10 - no brownie points for dragging Burna Boy into this mess.
6/20
14. Red Sky
What’s
with this dude picking country and pop singers for intros? This whole
track is another lyrical tragedy. It could’ve been dope with a better
rhyme scheme, but nah. Yikes. Trash.
Beats - 6/10
Lyrics - 2/10
8/20
15. Dark Days
Finally,
the end. Here comes 21 Crumpets trying to sound deep. After talking
gangs, guns, and girls, this track seems mad fake. Now he’s saying he’s a
fake gangster and cries when alone? I’m cool with rappers getting real,
but did you just admit you’ve been fronting the whole album?! This
track is a flop. Son, you seriously gonna put "gangsters cry" as a hook
after all that macho talk? Yikes!!
Beats - 3/10
Lyrics - 2/10
5/20
Overall -
This was bad. This ain’t Ice Spice, it’s the male version. Let’s see how this goes....
104/280
37% - Bleah.
Best song - Letter to my Brodda
Worst song - Hard to pick, but if you put a gun to my head, I’d say "Dark Days."
Favorite song - Letter to my Brodda
This
is straight garbage. Softest, weakest excuse for gangsta rap I’ve ever
heard. Even Drake’s better than this mess. 21 Crumpets is Mr. Softie,
and it’s obvious in his music. And then son tries to get his deep
thinking on in that last track? No son, you just got through 13 tracks
talkin' 'bout how you're the baddest gangsta alive. You ain't changing
up now, either you was fake then, or you fake now. Take your pick.
No wonder he’s down with OVO. Marshmallow rappers stick together. Don’t even bother copping this album, fam. It’s all kiddie rap and 21 sounds like a zombie trying to rap. The only decent track is "Letter to my Brodda" where son actually put in some effort. Compared to his other joints, the kid sounds alive. My girl was right, some people need three cups of coffee just to get by and 21 is one of ‘em.
No wonder he’s down with OVO. Marshmallow rappers stick together. Don’t even bother copping this album, fam. It’s all kiddie rap and 21 sounds like a zombie trying to rap. The only decent track is "Letter to my Brodda" where son actually put in some effort. Compared to his other joints, the kid sounds alive. My girl was right, some people need three cups of coffee just to get by and 21 is one of ‘em.
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