Kodak Black - Dieuson Octave: REVIEW

Ayo ayo, what the heck's poppin’ y'all?! Right now in the place to be, ya got ya boy Denzel back in the mix, n' we be breakin’ down who’s really spittin’ fire n' who’s really just a cigarette lightah in this rap game, nahmean? So yo, listen up y'all: we got the boy Kodak Black up in here wit' a new tape son jus' dropped—yeah, that Kodak, the one the Trumpster let walk free, the one off of Kendrick Lamar's last album, n' the kid who tweets out shit like this yo:

Now son do be lookin' like the poster child for why NOT to get ya sista pregnant, namsayin', but yo, here at this blog, Yxng Denzel gets that summa y'all suckas may have jus' had a rocky ride through the birth canal, y'all jus' can't help yaselves, ya feel me?? So yo fam, son jus' dropped a fresh album, 'n we up in here 'boutta see if Kodak can bring it or if he’s just wastin' wax yet again. Let’s get into it!

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Catch Fire

Aight, track opens up with a lil’ piano, even some castanets. This ish kinda nice. I vibes wit' it. Lyrics kinda decent for a warm-up, but yo, Kodak’s voice is MAD ANNOYING. Son’s tone is just grating. Like yo, this ish gonna be fire on mute, nahmean? At least son kinda communicated what the heck he was tryna say here. Beat kinda soft, soundin' like somethin' the lil' blondeheaded girlies is gonna be skippin' rope to in Kindergarten. Ain't my vibe.

Beats - 5/10

Lyrics - 5/10

Total: 10/20

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Harlem Nights

Aight, now we got some flutes mixin' in. That beat drop got a lil’ punch, drop had me goin' like “Aight, now we cookin’!” But again, son's voice is killin’ it in the worst way. N' what's son tryna accomplish wit' this poetry class rhyme scheme? This the kinda mess we wrote in school, 1st grade grammar. We got this A-B-A-B rhyme scheme jus' wearin’ me out. Skip.

Beats - 7/10

Lyrics - 3/10

Total: 10/20

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Versatile

Ayo, what the heck is this joint b?! Track's startin' out soundin' like son's DJ done gone an' jacked the soundtrack to some whale documentary from the BBC. I ain't even kiddin’, I'm thinkin' we gonna be hearing David Attenborough up in here, on some "Now this is the sucka MC in his natural habitat" typa thing, nahmean? Ain't got nothin' against BBC documentaries, but yo, keep that outta my rap, ya hear me? This that typa music I'd be playin' a 2 year old I wanna put down for a nap or sumthin'.

The beat finally drops into a trap rhythm, but it keeps bouncin' back to that sleepy nature documentary vibe. The lyrics here are mad stupid, like just stupid outright. I ain't knowin' whether I'm supposed to be laughin' wit' son, or laughin' at son. Man, this gotta be the most nonsense I ever heard, Kodak's flowin’ sloppy. Word is bond y'all, I'd rather hear my schizophrenic cousin ramble 'bout religion than this track again. Dang that mess flopped!

Yea, flopped jus' like son did there (real video of Kodak) ^^^^

Beats - 5/10

Lyrics - 1/10

Total: 6/20

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Drive the Boat

Aight, we gettin' a nautical theme or sumthin' here? Let's see.

Aight, right off the bat, this beat be soundin' like some 2000s version of Timbaland tryna do trap but gettin' all lost. Like there's a buncha outta tune drums n' horns n' cymbals an' junk all thrown in this beat. Like my homie out in the UK says, the beat's more confused than a chameleon inna bag fulla Skittles, or sumthin' like that.

I'm replayin' from the start now. These lyrics is some dad joke garbage, b. These lyrics got me scratchin’ my head. Son's gotten cornier than a box of Captain Crunch, on me! Lemme give you a taste:

"I shoot a nigga in the head, I FaceTime the nigga"

Then we gots this:

"I asked her to let me drive the boat, they thought I was Lil Yachty"

Ya get the joke? Like that otha wack-ass rapper, Lil Yachty?? It's a pun? Ya get it?

Nah, I ain't either. Ain't even gonna dive into what a wack bar this is.

"I made you mine, now you a dime, not no JC Penny's"

I ain't rich or nuthin', but what's wit' son callin' JC Penny's poor or sum'?? Some of the richest folk I know shop there like 24/7.

"Pink jeep, pussy pink, nigga, pink malmussss"

I'mma keep it real wit' y'all. Even I don’t know what son tryna say here. Free slice of pizza for anyone who can decode this without pullin' up genius.com or one of them lyric sites.

"Ẹka reshy stood up like a boasht, she a shhhtallion"

That's it, I'm done.

Beats - 6/10

Lyrics - 0/10

Total: 6/20

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Never Exaggerate

Aight, finally we gettin' somethin' with a lil' potential. Kodak done cleaned up his voice, talkin’ a lil’ more sense. But, yo, get son a dictionary, cause rhyming “bitch” with itself at the end of almost EVERY DANGED LINE ain't showin' that you's too creative. Other than that, it's not bad, it's kinda aight, we’ll take it.

Beats - 7/10

Lyrics - 5/10

Total: 12/20

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Never See Me

His rappin' finally soundin' a bit smoother. This thing's okay, but this man’s subject matter more scattered than the Dems after they lost that election. Second his flow's bad. Just plain wack. Son needin' summa that voice trainin'. Nah, scratch that, son needs a speech therapist. If ya talkin' like Kodak Black, ya need yaself a speech therapist, nahmean? It's like that. Beats okay but still kinda missin' that kick.

Beats - 6/10

Lyrics - 5/10

Total: 11/20

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Ima Be Real

Yo, lemme tell ya—son got on the sangin’ tip here an' man, if that ain't the worst sangin' known to mankind, I'm the Queen of Sheba, long weave, crown, n' all. I’m talkin' like, if I lived in an apartment or flat someplace, the landlord woulda sued ya boy for medical bills caused by th' auditory damages folks got from me sangin' this track. An' what the heck is this beat son?! This beat soundin' like it comin' straight outta the dancin' seal show at the local circus, wild goofy, namsayin'. Skip this one if you love your eardrums.

Beats - 3/10

Lyrics - 0/10

Total: 3/20

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Inside I Suffer

If that last track weren't bad enough, Kodak comes back an' hits ya wit' this:

“Those bish ain’t never eeeeeeeeEEEEeeeeeeEeeee no ansher”

I’m like, yo b, what LANGUAGE is this? Ya ain't gonna convince me the kid speakin' English on this joint, ya jus' ain't gonna be able.

On the real talk tho', son's gotta get his flowers. Here ya go b:

Only Rapper Who Be Soundin' Like A Yowlin' Kitty When He Raps

There ya go, there's ya flowers homie. Ain't nobody out there yowlin' like you, an' that's for real! Now get ya wack self outta here.

An' jus' when I thought we’d close on a decent note, Kodak hits us with:

"Follow every rainbow till you reach your dream

A dream that we neh, all the luff you can give

Every day of yah life, as long as you liff

Climb every mountain, nahmehnahmeh

Cmmmhhhh mhhm mhhm"

Followin' that up wit':

"Colduh sparkle

I put my dick in the soup
Got a coupe with a stick and a stick in the coupe and a coupe in the stick "

Uhhhhh what!?!?? AYO, ain't nobody told me this was the abstract poetry slam or sumthin'! Ain't nobody told me this son!

Beats - 5/10

Lyrics - 2/10

Total: 7/20

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That was like misery of a week. Let's tally up this cornball mess:

65/160

40%

This album's straight garbage, fam. Kodak’s a legitimately wack rapper. Son out here rappin' like he ain't even knowin' what rappin' is, like he think it still's Halloween and he cosplaying a rapper. This boy's so bad that unless Mama takes him for speech therapy, son ain't neva gonna improve, on me. Look, kid—maybe there’s somethin' else out there for you, ‘cause the mic ain't it. I dunno, try sellin’ whips, like if you got the nerve to put this voice on wax, you got the nerve to sell anything. I'm done.