Ayo, ayo, AYO, what the heck's up y'all?! This ya boy Denzel back up in the mix an' today we gonna be reviewin' the debut tape from this kid callin' hisself Bossman Dlow. Now I don't know much 'bout this kid, I kinda think son was a feature on sum tape I reviewed way back when, but I can't place him, b. Anyhow, we got this debut album up in here kinda gettin' sum attention on the streets, so we gonna see what son's 'bout. Nuff said, let's jump in y'all!
Dlow Curry - I like where we goin'. That beat drop there nice n' hard. This goin' hard already y'all. Then son starts rappin'. He kinda soundin' like a ScHoolboy Q clone, not that that's like a cardinal sin or sum shit, like I ain't gonna send ya off to confession if you be soundin' like ScHoolboy, but yo...you gotta do it JUST RIGHT. This AIN'T just right. Son came outta his mouth wit' a corny ass bar already: "I need gloves on, I keep touching dog shit". Ya know, cause he's a dawg, n' he do that kinda shit...yea...The way son jus' keep sayin' "Boy, boy, boy" ova n' ova gonna drive me crazy. The track's aight, it jus' coulda been so dang much more, nahmean? The beat carryin' this thing, word.
Beats - 9/10
Lyrics - 5/10
14/20
Like Dat - This anotha dope beat, this one kinda smooth. The lyrics on this thing tho'......ugggggghhhhh. AYO, WORD IS BOND Y'ALL, I can't take this kid seriously AT ALL the way he be soundin' here. He half-spittin', half-moanin', n' when son be tryna spit bars ya gets mess like this. Check this shit out:
"I got all this drip, look like a bird shitted
She say that pussy water, Imma surf in it!"
Wit' bars like that bird shit bar, you ain't gonna go no place but Hall of Fame For Gross/Corny/An Otha Kinda Wackness. Y'all younga rappers need to quit thinkin' y'all the next Lil' Wayne or sumthin', seriously, what are these bars, b?!
Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 5/10
13/20
Pillsbury Dlow ft. Ice Spice - Aight. Son's beat tight as usual. From what I be seein' here so far, son gettin' spoiled wit' beats most rappers woulda been killin' to rap ova. N' son out here spittin' wack mess like "I say, "Bae, this your world," I call her lil' Disney". Son also kinda runnin' outta ideas in the lil' metaphor/similie shop or sumthin', cause he be comparin' hisself to Morant AGAIN like he did on the last track. Son's hook all sing-songy typa mess too. Then he gotta whole buncha loopy lines I ain't even gonna mention. Then he misisn' the beat like heck, he jus' tryna stuff too many words here n' there, n' it all messin' up. Aight, we done wit' that wackness. Ice Spice jumps in now.
Ice Spice's verse sound like she Robby the Robot. Like this chick sound like me when I used to try karaoke. She soundin' flat as a board, like she don't even wanna be here. Skip.
Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 3/10
10/20
Mo' Chicken ft. French Montana - This beat hard. This one I woulda loved to be rappin' ova. Son's rappin' the same typa stuff as the last two tracks wit' lines like "Shit-poppin' university, I got a degree for shit-poppin'". Duh, yo, whatchu doin' brotha??? Rappers who be writin' bars like this be remindin' me of this dictionary I used to have as a lil' kid. Defined words like "metaphor n- : A metaphor". That typa bar, an' that typa definition...All that typa mess WACK, b!! Y'all don't explain the bar wit' the bar, y'all give us summa thqat colour n' sumthin', namsayin'?! Damn!!!
AYO, French Montana on this?! His verse all types of wack, except for two bars. Son literally tells us he like his bitch cause she drink water. Skip this y'all.
Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 3/10
11/20
The Biggest Part 2 - The beat here sumthin' that somebody like Denzel Curry, my namesake, woulda gone crazy ova. Dlow stumblin' all ova the place. He spittin' them corny ass bars like "These niggas cap. Kangol!!" YO. No joke! Kangol! Son said Kangol, cause a Kangol is a hat n' they cappin', an' a cap is a hat, so it's a JOKE! Get it??? Nah, who I be kiddin' yall?!
Son then made this WORSE cause the next bar "You can't pull a bitch, nigga, you a lame-o". Son...what the hell you be throwin' Kangol in ya raps for if ya runnin' outta things to rhyme wit' it?!
Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 4/10
12/20
46th Street - Son comin' outta his mouth wit' bars like "Chain playin' hockey, my wrist game on froze, nigga". The way son be rhymin' "nigga, nigga, nigga" jus' so damn creative y'all. This beat kinda aight, it got a sample that ain't hittin' right here, but it's aight. Filler track, son jus' done said the same damn thing, except now he be wantin' a threesome wit' the chick n' her sista.
Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 4/10
11/20
Star Life - We doin' kinda aight till son says "my wrist need a Tiktok". Ya wrist don't be needin' no damn Tiktok son, wristwatch or othawise. Dang son, if you keep comin' outta ya mouth wit' corny bars like this, you gonna be takin' ova for the knuckleheads who write kiddie's knock knock joke books n' all. That where you be gettin' ya bars, b? 101 Wholesome Jokes for Kids n' that typa stuff? Word.
This whole song tell me nuthin' 'bout son but that he likes to waste his dough. Skip.
Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 4/10
12/20
Cash Shit - Unless sumthin' happens, I'mma quit talkin' 'bout the beats n' jus' focus my whole mind on son's lyrics, cause they need to be analysed, word. This whole thing the same typa track as every otha damn song. Like son jus' keep recyclin' thew same topics ova n' ova. He done already told the chicks this stuff 'bout "ya ass so soft baby" an' "ya need a boss, baby?" Them pickup lines is played out on the fourth track, son. Drop 'em like they hot, cause they not! An' there's my wack bar for the day, jus' like your's b.
Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 3/10
10/20
Game Winner - I like the intro skit here, it's dope. Kinda got me expectin' big things. Son spittin' Dr. Seuss rhymin' like "I'm tryna make a play, I ain't really come to play" an' mess like that. He usin' the same typa similies he done used before too. Word is bond y'all, at the end of this review, we gonna post up a spreadsheet of all the times son done used the same dang words. WORD.
Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 3/10
11/20
Big - Already we got son tryna rhyme "diamonds" an' "bodies" an' failin' like a three year old gonna fail to take over the world wit' his wooden tank. I mean, we gotta a heckuva lotta chances for son to come out swingin'. But damn, we keep pitchin' em an' son keeps missin' em. At one point here, son say "wrist like a faucet". I thought son was tryna say he done gone an' cut his wrists n' he bleedin' to death but son was tryna talk 'bout his damn watch again. Yo, I'mma get sick of ya watch son, matta fact, I am sick of that watch, gonna be snappin' that watch if y'all tell son to talk 'bout it again, nahmean?
Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 4/10
11/20
Motion - Track 11, we halfway thro' yo. Son talkin' 'bout smashin' sum chick in the back of his truck, n' how he so much of a real dawg he got dogshit on him...I think we done heard this...34 times? Yea, sounds 'bout right, word. This thing filler, skip.
Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 2/10
10/20
PJ ft. Lil Baby - Son talkin' all 'bout the same thing he done covered on 12 otha tracks. Lil Baby soundin' like he breathin' flower pollen or sumthin', honestly, this thing coulda been on a "Now That's Music!" promo CD an' nobody woulda minded. I think they hadta remix Baby's verse a bit cause son softer than kitty fur. Word.
Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 4/10
11/20
Out tha Mud - First line "I'm a big dog, you ain't never on my level!" Son done said this line elsewhere. We got "I'ma buy a monster truck 'cause I made it out the mud" which is kinda wack n' juvenile. Then we got the Holy Trinity " I'm flyer than Delta...Bitch, I'm flyer than United...bitch, I'm flyer than Southwest!!" We get it, we got it, now bin it yo!
Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 3/10
11/20
What You Need ft. NoCap - Son on here soundin' the same damn way he do every damn song an' then he also in here talkin' mess like "That's my lil' shit". He talkin' 'bout his chick, in case y'all didn't know. Then he goes callin' his car a cough drop cause it's yellow. Yeah, that's what I'mma say next time I take Emma out on a date "Yo girl, let's take my cough drop". Word, that gonna have the panties meltin'. Jus' kiddin' of course, in case y'all didn't catch the sarcasm.
"You can't sit on my lap, baby, I paid too much for these jeans". Girl...I ain't tryna diss ya man too much, but if he ain't down for you sittin' on his lap cause of sum wackass jeans he done bought, he don't care ten cents 'bout you. Go find yaself anotha king, word. We got more dogshit bars 'bout how he so much of a dog he covered in dog shit.
NoCap's verse kinda aight, but son ruins the whole thing by sayin':
"I'm out in London with a bad bitch, look like tummy, I pay to remove her gut
Ask her, can she make it clap, she can make it talk instead"
Any way you be lookin' at this thing, it's bad. Son jus' out here sayin' any typa mess thinkin' he cool. He ain't. In the outro, he spittin':
"Me and Dlow pull up back to back, shit like scoliosis"
This bar WACK. Lemme break this down for y'all. Scoliosis a disease of the back where the spine starts trippin' n' goin' outta shape n' shit. So how this matchin' wit' ya metaphor? Yo, I coulda written betta shit than this. Sumthin' like:
"Me n' Dlow break the back of the wack like scoliosis"
That bar goes harder, sounds harder an it avoids tryna rhyme scoliosis wit'......Beyonce.
Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 2/10
9/20
Pushin' Up - If this fool tell me one more time 'bout all the chicken he got, I'mma grab a golf club n' start wildin' out on these suckas. Son jus' uses the same bars every damn time! Like, there ain't a finite numba of these things we done agreed to be callin' bars, whatcha on here?! This thing got a whole buncha bars like that one.
Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 3/10
11/20
Dlow Flintstone - This brotha comparin' his Ferrari to a butterfly. If that ain't the silliest comparison in a while, I ain't a reviewer, WORD. I shoulda also known that when son slapped that kiddy show title on a track this was gonna be wack. He sayin' "Mouth full of big rocks, bitch, I'm Dlow Flintstone". Man, quit it. Ya soundin' so damn unserious, nahmean? Dingbat.
Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 3/10
11/20
Dlow Gucci - This gonna be interestin'. Son done gone n' got creative on titles here...
I don't even know why they be givin' the tracks the titles they be givin' them. On here, son rappin' like he swimmin' mid-verse an' dips underwater everytime he finishes a bar. This whole thing jus'so uninterestin', cause it jus' more talk 'bout how son's rich as hell an' he got M&M's so he ain't normal. I don't get this, prolly summa that Gen Z slang I'm too much of a grandpa to get. Plus, the way this brotha be sayin' "boyyyy", like he jus' learned that word in Kindergarten, got me bouncin' off the walls wantin' to go full on felony on whoeva done told him that soundin' fresh. It don't.
Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 2/10
9/20
Boxing Night ft. Babyface Ray - This hook dumb y'all. The way son keep repeatin' the corny "my diamonds hittin' like boxin' night" line jus' annoyin'. This beat alos kinda soundin' all disorganised, like they done cooked this up, then come back n' threw summa that piano samplin' in later jus' cause the drums was soundin' flat or sumthin'. We got summa them wack lines too. We got this:
I say, "Baby, you so fine," she say, "Bae, you him"
I say, "Bae, you got that shit on," she say, "Bae, you trim"
She say, "Bae, fuck them niggas, you ain't one of them!"
This whole conversation seemin' so damn awkward, like yo, can y'all shut up n not act like you on a Hallmark movie? Word, this got me thinkin' y'all 'boutta talk 'bout a whole buncha mess that coulda gone on that channel. This whole thing coulda been summed up in "My girl said 'Bae, you fresh'". Ain't no need to have a whole big parade of Hallmark cheese in here. This straight-up cringe, ya feel me??
Babyface was comin' along aight till he spat "gettin' low from the statey" an' then kinda forgot what the heck he was s'posed to be rappin' 'bout. Geesh.
Beats - 5/10
Lyrics - 5/10
10/20
For Days - This track done on a nice beat, but son again talkin' a whole buncha nuthin'. He decided he gonna be adventurous here n' spit TWO verses, not one. Musta been a really creative day or sumthin'. We got this wack bar "I look like an extension cord, plugged in". So you sayin' you's a thin lil' string of a brotha? Word, I didn't know you was like that, b. That the kinda stuff ya shoulda kept private, on me.
Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 4/10
12/20
Shake Dat Ass, Twerk Song ft. GloRilla - This got anotha nice beat, I like the sample they got here. Son comin' out wit' lines like "Mmm, she ate that dick so much, her knee ugly". GloRilla got an aight verse, she actually soundin' like she serious 'bout what she rappin' here. Dlow...I can't take that brotha serious, cause he jus' keep mumblin' n' talkin' junk ova this beat. GloRilla tho' soundin' like she actually tryin' tho', word.
Beats - 7/10
Lyrics - 6/10
13/20
Dang, we finally through that mess of a tape. Aight, let's tally this shit up:
222/400
56%
The main thing to like 'bout this tape is the beats. I woulda loved to see sum otha cat freestylin' ova these beats, someone like BigXThaPlug, Denzel Curry, maybe Common too. Common been pullin' up droppin' mad heat ova trap beats, he woulda killed this, word.
But yo. Dlow ain't a good writer y'all. He keep comin' up wit' corny bars n' he keep sayin' the same thing ova n' ova. Not a single damn song here deviated off the topic of "I'm rich n' smash chicks". EVERY. DAMN. SONG. coulda been summed up in that. Word, the thing is mad repetitive. I heard one cat talkin' like "Ayo Denzel. I vibes heavy wit' Dlow but sometimes he kinda repetitive". KINDA B?!? On the dead homies son, this kid done made the same damn track ova n' ova n' ova n' ova, like he ain't got jack to do but that, word!! N' then he keep usin' the same dang metaphors n' similes. Yo, if you don't believe me, I got the count right up in here. Check it out son:
- Muh wrist - 8
- I'm Morant, I swear - 2
- Chicken, bawk bawk - 3
- Dogshit on my hands cause I'MMA REAL DAWG - 4
- I'm tha BIGGEST, word - 5
- That chick got a soft ass b - 4
- Awkward fake convo witta chick - 3
- Gonna talk 'bout tha elbow-breakin' bowl - 3
I'mma quit countin' here, cause y'all know how this gonna go down. Son be talkin' the same shit every dang song, usin' metaphors again n' again n' again till the stuff done gotten beat in the ground. If y'all like repetitive stuff wit' corny ass bars, this tape's for you. Othawise, I'mma hit skip on this, whole thing jus' a mad waste of air.
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