What the heck's up fam, this ya boy Denzel back wit' ya daily dose of pure truth in a sea of hype n mess. Today we gonna be givin' ya that purified factual stuff in abundance - we gonna be listin' the wackest albums n rappers this year. These ain't in no real order, cause I ain't gonna be goin' through this crap again to see how bad so-and-so is in comparison to so-and-so. I ain't gonna be feedin' on TRASH if I don't HAVE to be doin' that, ya feel me b?? So aight, check this out. I gots myself a number one here, but I ain't gonna be numberin' all these other suckas n busta ass kiddies, they can do that theyselves. I'mma be listin' the ones I remember n see where this goes. So, yo, nuff talkin', let's get to this shreddin', word!!
Lil Uzi Vert - Eternal Atake 2 (This is Your Brain on Drugs)
But if you was hopin' son was gonna finally drop a classic, give us his "Ready to Die" or "AmeriKKKa's Most Wanted"....YOU WAS WRONG!
Summa this stuff the worst mess I done ever heard. On me, Uzi gotta be surrounded by yes men or maybe his brains fell out his skull when that rock he'd stuck up in his head did. Case in point "Chill Bae" soundin' like discount Afrobeats that goes nowhere, like somethin' Seyi Vibez woulda made when drunk. What the heck this junk doin on a RAP ALBUM??! And ain't no way in hell any sane producer is gonna hear his rapper makin' a song like "Perky Sex" an' unironically say "Hmmm, yeah, that joint gonna slap, I'mma let son release that, yo".
This whole thing soundin' like it was rapped by a teenager who got high outta his mind. Then we got these corny ass bars like "I get the chips and then I dip". Oh word son?? You wanna tell us how you mustered energy to ketchup cause you a hot dawg next? The mixin' on this thing....damn. Mixin' on summa these things sound like they gave a monkey an iPad witta copy of Garageband on it an' had it make a beat. Seriously, this thing so dang bad, Lil Uzi Vert almost unreleased the crap. Instead a deluxe dropped.
In other news, hearin' loss and insanity occured worldwide on that day, jus' sayin'...
IDK - BRAVADO+INTiMO (Best Corncob in the Industry)
Dang this thing was so damn awful. After hearin' the "IDK and Friends :)" tape which was kinda dope n slapped here n there, I was expectin' big stuff from son. But....nahhhhhh. This thing corny as all get out. IDK got Joey Bada$$ an I think Conway the Machine on there, but even they couldn't save this dumpster fire, word. First off, son's beats sound like they made by a DJ who can't eat nothin' spicier than salt wit' his Mexican food, an' wears Hello Kitty slippers to the studio. I mean this producer/DJ so dang soft he be puttin' rosemary n' lavender hand cream on his pretty lil hands in the mornin'. This DJ be rockin' Victoria's Secret underwear, he be out buyin' scented soaps at Whole Foods n' mess like that y'all. His beats be soundin' like they got Barbies an' Teletubbies tryna hug ya ears or sumthin'.
Now y'all might be tryna tell me son nice wit his lyrics, but nah, that's gone. It's like the kid done gone an' got hisself an at home lobotomy kit, n jus' cut all them rhymes out his head, b. IDK's rappin' like he ain't takin' this seriously, an' I don't mean like son made a joke tape, I mean this kid jus' plain lazy. We got lines like "Bob the Builder, I’m the handyman, Laffy Taffy, I’m the Candyman" an' "I'm the urinal, you can't shit on me!!" WHAT??? Seriously, IDK fell off like heck fam. Son's softer than a lil girl's plushie collection. He sangin' on some joints too, an' he don't know jack 'bout bein' off key or nuthin'. It's like they stuck an accordion in his throat, filled him full of champagne, n then told son to float away to Happyland on the bubbles. Y'all know Denzel ain't down wit' NONE OF THAT. This tape all kindsa wack.
JPEGMAFIA - I Lay Down My Life For You (Recordings of Peggy's Seizures)
Most y'all ain't heard of JPEGMAFIA - ya lucky. Son came in the rap game outta death metal an' says "Ya know, I don't like all them rules the original producers be makin'. I'mma break 'em all". Now I usually be applaudin' creativity, an' son do have some dope ideas, but the wack ideas be outnumberin' the dope ones. Therefore ya get half the Peggy made beats soundin' like they the dopest shit you ever got, n the other half soundin' like dogs bein' killed. Then Peggy's lyrics is mad iffy, we got summa these raps soundin' like son's angry at the whole damn world, an' summa them soundin' like son actually tryin an makin' some sense.
Word is bond y'all, Peggy was competin' HARD for the Wackest in the Game, plus the softest. Son came out here challengin' Freddie Gibbs to a fistfight cause Gibbs got to work wit Kanye West first. Peggy's up in there sayin' he the most gangsta of them all, an' he's gonna beat Freddie to a pulp, an' Freddie Gibbs better come out n fight if he ain't chicken.
Freddie Gibbs ignored the fool.
This fool is, what, 40 sumthin'??? He a grown ass man b!! An' he STILL out here talkin' bout how GANGSTA he is. Man, get ya useless an' immature self outta here. You be up in here ridin' Kanye's jock like it the robot bull at sum rodeo. The only man you oughta be lookin' up to is the man above ya head, WORD.
Anyhow, son made the Wackest Rappers list cause of an album full of circus noises, actin' like a jerk to Freddie, bein' racist for no reason, an' treatin' Denzel Curry like trash. If y'all ain't knowin' what I mean wit' the Denzel Curry thing, son had my namesake in a track, aight? Peggy cooks up this mess of piccolos n saxophones, n bells, n marchin' band recordin's to rap over. The beat is so dang loopy an' mixed like junk, only Denzel Curry knows what he was rappin' 'bout an' son sounded like he was fightin' the beat. Then Peggy's verse comes on. Is Peggy gonna rap over that beat? Heck no. Peggy gave hisself a nice drum loop witta coupla horns, here an' there, while he rapped 'bout how great he is. The whole thing felt like Peggy's narcissist mind on display, fuck, son had Denzel talkin' to they audience 'bout what a wonderful gentleman that boy Peggy is. Miss me wit' that stuck up teen angst vomit, b.
Ice Spice - Y2K (The Mean Girl from Middle School Becomes a........RAPPER?????)
I'm sick of this chick. Ice Spice started out aight, maybe back in 2019? Had a kinda catchy joint that was aight but not really my thing namsayin'. Then she reappears now an' drops this....thing? Stillbirth? Miscarriage? Dropped the ball? Yo, I dunno, but she droppin' the ball for sure.
Word is bond, this chick got TikTok reels runnin' in her veins. I'mma give this chick a five year window before she be askin' brothas to subscribe to her OnlyFans. Not that I'm gonna be checkin' for it, I got myself a girl, but that's what most these cats do. Can't make it bein' pimped out by a record label? Pimp yaself out then.
This woman a parody of female rap n what's sad is she don't know it. When I look at someone like MC Lyte, I be seein' wisdom, an' a strong independent lady. I be lookin' at Doechii an' I see creativity an' yet anotha strong independent young woman. I look at Ice Spice an'...I ain't seein' much but a heckuva lotta rap 'bout sex, sex, an' more sex. An' while I'm on the matta, it ain't good rap 'bout sex, summa that rachet girl stuff can be good if done right, it's jus' a heckuva lotta montone flows over the weirdest beats. Somebody was tellin' me she got her boyfriend makin' them beats. How many y'all wanna bet I got pants that weigh more than this boyfriend? My cat's meows sound harder than the stuff he be cookin' up for his bae to rap ova. Then of course we got the lyrics like "I'm his poopie" an' the infamous "Think you the shit?! You ain't even the fart!" Word is bond y'all, I cringed inside havin' to type them lines up. I almost called that mess bars, but they ain't no bars, they jus' lines. I'mma err on the side of caution wit' this one an' say most these cats into Ice Spice only there cause they like feedin' on trash an' watchin' the chick twerk, word.
Nettspend - Bad Ass Fucking Kid (Your Average Angry High Schooler)
This guy - why we even talkin' 'bout his trash self?? Was anybody jammin' to this kid? Anyone? This fool be soundin' like he tryna do a squeaky voice Ross Dolan imitation when he rap.
This kid needs to get outta the limelight. He hella fake n' soft too. This kid 17 years old, n' they lettin' him shout lyrics 'bout how he smashin' naked girls an' robbin' rich banks, an' gettin' high outta his mind 7 days a week, an' I dunno what all. Somebody call Nettspend's mum, cause she ain't gonna be happy wit' what her son's doin', word.
Megan thee Stallion - Megan Act II (A Tragedy in Album Form)
Kinda the same sorta complaints I had 'bout Ice Spice be the same typa complaints I be havin' wit' this chick. She tryna sound all badass n' shit, but she ain't holdin' nuthin' down. Chick's lyrics is all samey, her hooks is garbage, an' she cosplays Japanese people. Otaku Hot Girl gotta be one of the worst things I done heard all year. What a damn stupid song.
This girl only got one dimension to her personality, n' that's sex. She ain't tellin' us nuthin' more 'bout herself than that. Now I KNOW she could be dope if she focusin' on otha subject matta n' got betta beats. This whole thing a damn waste of talent. The only reason this chick won her beef against Nicki Minaj, which was actually kinda a Gossip Girls TV show episode, was cause Nicki's track was so bad, the public took the lesser of two evils. I dunno what the heck her fans be seein' in her, Megan thee Stallion makes music for ratchet girls who got more bodies than the Zodiac Killer.
Lil Dicky - Penith (Death by Cringe)
This guy...this guy the typa kid Kendrick Lamar was talkin' 'bout on "Not Like Us" when he spat "You ain't a colleague, you's a fuckin' coloniser!" Lil' Dicky been usin' hiphop as his cash cow since he was born, like son was born to be a stupid actin' grown adult n' make money off of it. I ain't even gonna discuss this guy, sucka who makes a whole album 'bout what a failure he is ain't worth mentionin'. He a real racist too, who turns squishy when called on it. Skip.
Yeat - 2093/Lyfestyle (Noise, Girls, and All the Drugs I Take)
This guy like Nettspend wit'out the screamin'. He 'bout as enjoyable as radio static, cause that's what his rap albums be soundin' like. N' when son's lyrics IS audible, they a whole buncha trash, 'bout how he the best rapper ever n' he get all the drugs n' girls. Miss me wit' that.
This kid soft for real, he talkin' 'bout how he in the mob, n' how he runnin' deals, n' shit, but nah, son's some gingerheaded suburban kid from I dunno where, but he ain't rollin' like that one bit. This the typa kid who the worst shit he done is pushed his lil' brotha down the slide at the playground, n' he swearin' he so bad Godzilla is scared of findin' him in his closet. If Godzilla is scared of Yeat, that's cause Godzilla got betta taste in music than that.
Kodak Black - Trill Bill, Dieuson Octave (Yesh, Yesh, yahhlll, Mpphhh Mmmppphh Mphhh)
Aight y'all. This kid gotta be the poster child for all the reasons people sayin' the new wave of Southern US rap is bad. Now not all of it bad, Denzel Curry n' Maxo Kream exist y'all, but this kid makin' Southern rap look bad. Son got it all - he got a club bop wit' sum kid, I forget who, but that ish was on the radio EVERY DANG DAY ova here when it dropped. He got not one, but TWO, yo, TWO features outta Mr. Biggest Rapper in the World, Kendrick Lamar. He meets the president hisself. An' what does son do? Make music that sounds like his tongue is too fat for his mouth. Son needs speech therapy. He needa find sum otha lane than rap cause he be WACK. The stuff Kodak sayin', bars 'bout how he "got a potty in the Benz" jus' sound so dumb n' immature. I ain't judgin' nobody, but part of me wonderin' if this kid done had a hard trip down the birth canal or sumthin', word.
1. Drake - Hi Whitney, Pushups, Family Matters, The Farce Part 6, 100 Gigs, whatever the fuck that Delilah song was (Selling Your Soul 101)
An' the number one spot this year goin' to the Marshmallow Messiah hisself, Drake. Or Flake. Son came in here startin' things off right by dissin' Kendrick back, which is aight. But son started off by droppin' "Hi Whitney" which he gonna claim is AI till the he kicks the bucket. An' he claimin' that cause he too much of a coward to come on the carpet n' say he was dissin' Kendrick's wife first. I don't care how y'all feel 'bout Kendrick, love him, hate him, don't care, dissin' his WIFE, an' not him, right outta the gate, is a bitch ass move. Son prolly wouldn't have claimed "Pushups" either if his stans hadn't praised the thing. Then son kept up wit' the wife dissin', an' talkin' 'bout how he really bang a set or sumthin'. Miss me wit' all that mess, b. When Kendrick murdered him lyrically for it, The Boy as he calls hisself came back wit' "If I was really a pedophile, I'd be arrested, I'm too famous to be that". Word? Ya too famous, b? Son kinda forgot Diddy existed. Son also forgot Bill Cosby existed.
But nah, this ain't why Drakey-poo goin' on the Number One listin' here. He goin' on, for SUING. Son done gone an' sued the label cause his diss track ain't as popular as Kendrick's. That right there, is some real sell out typa mess. Son KNOWS he can't compete, he KNOWS this, b! So he goin' off on his label like a lil' boy cryin' cause he ain't won a game of Chutes n' Ladders. An' guess what? This man 38. He 38, b. An' he still throwin' tantrums. I ain't even gonna get into how lame an' sloppy his "100Gigs" drop was, or how bad that Wah Gwan Delilah mess was. Speakin' of Deliliah, son so dang sensitive, he done gone an' shaved his head cause Kenny was makin' jokes 'bout his hairdo. If you doin' all that, you KNOW you's a sensitive spoiled lil' ignant piece of work, for real!!
Aight, I'm outta here. Next time we gonna be goin' back to the normal reviewin' things, doin' the albums that dropped an' any typa news that be comin' out. I'mma see y'all then, peace!!
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