Lazer Dim 700 - Keepin' It Cloudy: REVIEW

 What the heck's up y'all? This ya boy Young Denzel back at it again wit' anotha review, fresh off the fiery presses, n straight from the land where brothas be engagin' in hand to hand combat wit' axes for fun.  

 Today we got this fresh tape from the boy who calls hisself "Lazer Dim 700". Gonna glaze over the fact son's name sound like he a regular user of r/dankmemes on Reddit or sumthin', but we gonna hope this tape dope. I do got a problem wit' son cause he soundin' like he forgot how to rap earlier this year n' jus' screwed up Denzel Curry's Still in the Paint track. Shoutout to Denzel tho', you a real MC, n' the track was mad dope. Aight, nuff talkin' let's give this thing a spin! 

Keepin' it Cloudy - We startin' off witta kinda generic trap beat. Son jus' talkin' 'bout stuff ova the beat. Wait, this rappin'??? Son sound like he jus' mutterin' stuff ova a beat. This wack already. You betta be out here spittin' harder than this. That's it for the intro I guess. What this intro supposed to be bout son?? Abstract free verse shit?

Beats - 6/10

Lyrics - 2/10

8/20

Default Whip - This beat hittin' like heck y'all. But word is bond, son could get so damn advanced if he quit sayin' "fuck" like he jus' learned that word. Son's first verse n second kinda aight, but them hooks is wack. He talkin' 'bout "coupla racks in my hood, I look like a fat man". Yo, half this stuff jus' goin' by my ears. I be tryna hear what son's rhymin but it all soundin' like he jus' got a bad case of motor mouth.

Beats - 7/10

Lyrics - 3/10

10/20

Calypso - This gonna be interestin'. Wonder what son's cooked up here. Fuck, fuck, fuck AGAIN?? Damn son, ya get paid each time you be usin that word. Now he rhymin "what the fuck I'm thinking" twice, followed up wit' "what the fuck I'm drankin'". That's wack to me. This that kindergarten rhyme scheme mess. Y'all gotta come wit' summa that creativity once in a while, namsayin'??? Son's whole track here filled witta buncha these lazy as all get out typa rhyme schemes. At least he spittin' so we know what he sayin'. I would love to kno who gave son this wack trap beat he on tho'. Shit sound like the producer jus' wanted to sample bell noises so dang bad he jus' up n threw em in wherever.

Beats - 5/10

Lyrics - 4/10

9/20

Militia - This beat tryna go hard, but it kinda basic. The first part I don't even know half of what this guy be sayin'. Son done left us all behind n he rappin' in his own damn language. The ad-libs here mad annoyin' too. Man, whoever be mixin this shit musta been picked up off TikTok, cause these beats jus' gettin' weak.

Beats - 5/10

Lyrics - 2/10

7/20

0436 - Lazer now talkin' in stuff that remind me of my girl tryna talk Pig Latin, no offense to her of course. Son talkin' nonsense like no one I ain't neva seen. I'm strainin' tryna figure out half of what son's talkin' 'bout. Either I'm stupid, or he is. I'mma have to hold off here an' go enjoy nature or sumthin'. I be feelin' like I done lost braincells to this shit.

Beats - 6/10

Lyrics - 2/10

8/20

Medicade - More itf this idiotic fuck, fuck, fuck talk on the intro. This whole thing feel like a trip on a rollercoaster that be goin' outta control. We got this bad, bad habit son got of rhymin' the same dang words wit' each otha. This one kinda half coherent but yo, I ain't gonna front, this goin' in one ear n right out the otha, like that hook from that Del the Funky Homosapien song says. The beat here soundin' like they done gone n' thrown together a buncha recordin's from washin' machines rotatin' in a chop suey joint or somethin'. I don't even know why this thing called "Medicade". Maybe cause ya gonna need Medicade to cover ya health expenses due to hearin' wack ish.

Beats - 4/10

Lyrics - 4/10

8/20

Fast and Furious - I know this intro sample from someplace. Maybe a game, no clue. Son rhymin' drip wit' drip n hundred wit' hundred. We got dumb lines like "I won't kiss on her lips, she got bumps". I think I heard "drop" get rhymed three times wit itself...This whole thing soundin' like a bad impersonation of Future. This beat must've sampled church bells while right next to em cause it's mad annoyin'.

Beats - 3/10

Lyrics - 3/10

6/20

Luigi - This is apparently son's attempt to be wit' the times. I think. Son didn't even make a Luigi bar one damn time. This song jus' sound like he high n runnin' around half drunk in the streets, maybe wavin' a gun. There ain't no plot, no witty bars except maybe one, no nuthin'. Filler.

Beats - 6/10

Lyrics - 4/10

10/20

Foreign - Son must've sampled the music from one of them cheapo 8 bit games like "Rapid Rabbit in Egypt" or summa that typa ish. Neva heard such damn fake soundin' Middle Eastern music. Son's out here rhymin' sad, bad, mad. An' sumthin' bout copy n paste. I kinda thought that's the typa mess YOU be on, word.

Beats - 5/10

Lyrics - 4/10

9/20

On Gang - This is startin' out kinda interestin'. Soundin' like they hired a lion or sumthin' to growl on the beat. It ain't really hittin' tho', even if they got the whole dang zoo on here, shit still wouldn't hit. We got dumb lines here too. I don't even know half of what son's sayin', an' I've got volume up n' ear thingies in both ears. I do hear this "If I step on your face you'll be a step face". That oughta sum up what this song talkin' 'bout.

Beats - 4/10

Lyrics - 2/10

6/20

WTM - More of son sayin' Fuck Fuck Fuck like it his name. Son's voice mad annoyin' here. I don't know, I always be out here bitchin' 'bout audio effects on rappers' voices this kid gonna make me want summa that ish. I think son's more off beat than I was when I first started rappin', he wack here, this beat tryna help him out a lil', but failin'. Skip.

Beats - 5/10

Lyrics - 3/10

8/20

Whip It - I hear they be callin' nitrous gas "whippets". Maybe son's lowkey admittin' he on that mess. Yeah, this whole song 'bout how son high off laughin' gas, AKA whippets. He sound like he tryna imitate Kendrick Lamar here, like he a parody of the guy on YouTube. Dang, this kid's annoyin'. He ain't got nuthin' to talk 'bout, he's kinda like half between Nettspend n' Yeat. Y'all know how I feel 'bout both of them bustas, word. Did he jus' say "That bitch got sick, I think she got worms"??? Ayo, miss me wit' that typa mess, b!!

Beats - 5/10

Lyrics - 2/10

7/20

Greened Out - Oh, son startin' off witta lighter flick like he think he the next Lil Wayne. Maybe he the next Carter IV Lil Wayne, I dunno. He now mutterin' sum nonsense 'bout eatin' plates an' his deposit. The beat sound like it a buncha paino held together wit' sum bass. Oh gosh, he comin' outta his mouth wit' lines like "Za smell like poop, it bad for my nose". Get outta here.

Beats - 5/10

Lyrics - 2/10

7/20

Meteor - This beat is kind of better, but that sample jus' kinda annoyin'. This thing make me feel like I'm stuck in one of them Gameboy thingies we used to play wit' back in the day. I don't understand nuthin' goin' on here, but son needs to go to speech classes or sumthin', cause my gosh.

Beats - 6/10

Lyrics - 1/10

7/20

Swxchnup - This guy sound like he tryna do a bad parody of Eminem now. Son's rappin' 'bout how high he gettin' n' that typa shit. The vocal snippet on the beat gettin' in the way here, so I don't know what he sayin' n' what the voice in that beat be sayin'. I THINK he say he gotta "get riddin'" but yo, I dunno, b.

Beats - 6/10

Lyrics - 2/10

8/20

Loveless - Son introducin' hisself wit' that immature "Fuck, fuck, fuck" again. The rap soundin' like son was gonna start off aight, then he jus' lost the plot an' he kinda fallin' asleep.dffsffssfffffffff like that, like he goin' around from subject to subject, like he smokin'. like like like zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Skip.

Beats - 5/10

Lyrics - 2/10

7/20

Hitone - Son's rhyme book gotta be a board book. The rhymes he be sayin' here preschool typa mess. Ayo, this guy got any good bars, b? If he do, I ain't seen them yet. Why this track even on here?? This track accomplishin' jack shit for ya son.

Beats - 6/10

Lyrics - 1/10

7/20

Rewind - Son's producer tryna reverse them samples which only a few great DJs can pull off right. This guy got me yawnin' over here wit' his raps. He sound like he underwater recordin' most of this tape. It jus' so dang borin'. Seriously y'all, I'm out here wantin' to houseclean or sumthin rather than listen to this kid. Damn.

Beats - 5/10

Lyrics - 2/10

7/20

Finally we done wit' this. Let's tally this whole thing up y'all:

138/360

38%

This whole tape so dang borin'. It ain't got the annoyin' factor of Nettspend, but it sure got the borin' factor Yeat's got, so I'mma say this guy jus' a Dollar Store version of Yeat. Son got marbles in his mouth half the dang time, n' when he used his real voice for that one song, he sounded like a bird gettin' beat witta whip. Like there summa them chickens or sumthin' here rappin'. If y'all jus' want noise in a room, or want ya neighbors to move, play this thing. Me, I'mma be housecleanin', that's gonna be hella more interestin' than this ish. Peace!!