Aight, good morning, evening, whateva the heck it is. Welcome to the party y'all, this ya boy Denzel n' today we gonna be gettin' in to that new joint Drake done jus' dropped wit' PartyNextDoor, word. Now I ain't expectin' too much from son, especially since he been droppin' more lawsuits than music, but hey, we gonna see if this tape aight or trash. Let's give this thing a spin right now, word.
1. CN Tower - Aight, I ain't gonna lie, but this track straight up hilarious. Drake's talkin' to Kendrick, but he doin' it in a roundabout way. Whole song's a buncha sneak dissin'. We got lame rhymes too like:
"What color's the CN Tower? It's red tonight
Just like the text I sent you from the bed tonight"
And also:
"Like a tiny house out back, I'm tryna shed some light"
Get it? Shed? Shed? Tiny house? They call a tiny house a shed? Get it?! Aww, forget about it.
There's a sampled of Lil Wayne's "Lollipop" in here, but otherwise, this beat ain't interestin'. Jus' a track 'bout how Kenny's like his ex-girl or sumthin'.
Beats - 5/10
Lyrics - 5/10
10/20
2. Moth Balls - This first verse gotta be summa the softest mess. The drums got some kick to em but otherwise, DAMN THIS SHIT SOFT. Son's out here sayin' junk like "I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED security 'cause niggas is hoes". The way he be REALLY accentin' his "E' in "need" got me wantin' to slap son six ways to Sunday word. PartyNextDoor got the hook now, but seriously, they done switched the beat, n' it soundin' like discount Afrobeats. Party gotta stop tryna imitate a Nigerian accent, on me!
Y'all remember how son was talkin' bout he can't go noplace wit'out his security?? Well son jus' done switched up his tune n' sayin' "I got the worst reputation in our town". Word?? Ya do son?? Then why you be goin' round talkin' that you need security? The fuck wrong wit' you my guy?!
We also get these lame-ass bars we be typically gettin' outta this kid:
"I remember stressin' over bills like a Buffalo fan, uh
Now shorties call me Drake, not Aubrey Graham, damn"
And of course Party's takin' us out wit' his Dollar Store Nigerian accent some kid he knew back home heard n' said "Oh yeah, you cookin' homie! Ya cookin'!" Brothas gotta quit talkin' like they be from other places than where they ACTUALLY s'posed to be reppin', nahmean?!
The first beat before the beat switch wasn't anything I woulda wanna made or rapped on, but the beat AFTER was worse. That second beat WACK. I dunno what typa drumless soft shit they be cooking up in OV-HOE studios, but damn y'all, get a grip.
Beats - 3/10
Lyrics - 5/10
8/20
3. Something About You - This track gotta have the lamest hook so far, n' all these beats here be soundin' like the MPC got melatonin laced in it, nahmean? I'm sayin' son be takin' the most trippy library music he can find an' lacin' ALL his beat wit' that shit, nahmean?? Now y'all know there ain't nuthin' wrogn wit' samplin' library music, but if y'all keep samplin' that shit over n' over, y'all gonna be makin' some soft, wack soundin' mess, on me!
We then got this abomination. Just imagine tellin' some chick this:
"Vent to me, baby, vеnt to me, baby
Vent to me, baby, vеnt to me, baby
After that, we should get intimate, baby
I'm tryna do somethin' explicit"
Party goes n' sing-raps the lamest verse so far. He got this line "NFL, NHL, NBA, I ain't 'bout to make you sign no NDA" this shit only there for rhymin's sake, it don't make no sense otherwise.
Beats - 5/10
Lyrics - 5/10
10/20
4. Crying In Chanel - I hate whateva effect they done thrown in the bass here. Shit soundin like my mom's electronic foot massage machine playin' in my ear. Drake soundin' like a pre-teen on here. He be soundin' like he still in middle school tryin' out for the rap team, this is that "Mommy's Lil' Rappin' Man" typa rap. Skip.
Beats - 4/10
Lyircs- 5/10
9/20
5. Spider-Man Superman - This thing lame.. The title's based off a couple wack bars in the intro. We also got this:
"The way we fucked is better than what we DM'd on Insta'"
Y'all, the last time this happened to me, I was gettin' chatted up by Nigerian scammers. Miss me wit' that, b. Whateva, this track mad pointless, word!
Beats - 5/10
Lyrics - 4/10
9/20
6. Deeper - This is kinda Party's interlude, where he NOT soundin' Nigerian - or tryin' to. Peace and one love to all my homies out in Nigeria, PartyNextDoor don't be soundin' nuthin' like y'all, the kid's imitation, he like wooden crackers, son's like them grapes at home shows you tryna eat to find out they're made outta sum composite rubber shit. PartyNextDoor is the box full of cookies you stole as a kid, n' opened to find a buncha needles n' shit like that. Word.
Beats - 4/10
Lyrics - 3/10
7/20
7. Small Town Fame - This soundin' like the same song, except they reversed some samples. The mixin' here shit.
As this goin' on, I'm thinkin' this shit 'bout Serena Williams, one of Drake's exes, dancin' around at the Superbowl wit' Kendrick. We got them wack bars jus' to be trendy like: "Puttin' Charli up her nose, X on her tongue, she been geekin' hard, she done had a BRAT Summer". Then we got a whole buncha lines talkin' bout how he hatin' hard, n' how he pulls up wit' all the boys, n' whatnot. This brotha gotta be bipolar y'all. One minute he's cryin' in Chanel, next minute he's out here shootin' up the block. Which is it y'all?!
Beats - 5/10
Lyrics - 5/10
10/20
8. Pimmie’s Dilemma - This one kinda an actual interlude, an' we at the one-third mark of the album. This chick named Pim jus' sangin'. We gonna skip this since it ain't really rap, but Chappelle Roan, Melanie Martinez, fuck, even Taylor Swift, all them chicks be clearin' this Pim chick ANY DAY, word!
9. Brian Steele - Unless I'm jus' not seein' it, this track don't got a damned thing to do wit' the man it's named after - Young Thug's lawyer Brain Steele. This ANOTHA of them diss tracks at Kenny that don't be namin' no names. We got lines like:
"Big page reachin', done freed up the Slime, oh shit
Broski just hit me, said, "Put all the beef on the side," I can't
Mm-mm, I'm heated now, yeah"
How many of y'all believe the kid who ain't done diddly squat but sue for the past...hmmmm....six months "heated"?!
Beats - 5/10
Lyrics - 6/10
11/20
10. Gimme A Hug - This beat ANNOYING. I didn't know they could be makin' soul samples sound so wack. There ain't even drums up in here. The Boy tryna sound hard, an' he also beggin' chicks to give him a hug. Then son comes out dissin' Joe Budden through his girl, like a real pussy. Idiotic soft track, the outro beat soundin' like son ripped it off a "Now That's what I Call MUSIC!" CD.
Beats - 6/10
Lyrics - 5/10
11/20
11. Raining In Houston - This one's anotha one of them sad songs that sound like The Boy sittin' there cryin' his heart out an' huggin' his Barney the Dinosaur plushies. We got a very obvious sneak diss at Kendrick:
Maya Angelou, '07, shots of '42,
your words are cuttin' deep, your words are hittin' different
Kendrick sampled Maya Angelou's dialogue for his Good Kid, Maad City album, dropped his first album in 2007, and that first album, "No Sleep 'Til NYC" had a track called "OG Don Julio" which is sometimes called 42 in street slang. There ain't no coincedences here. Homie's dissin'.The resto f the song ain't nuthin' interestin', jus' a whole buncha "my love, my love, my love". There more syrup on this than a cheap doughnut. Bleah.
Beats - 5/10
Lyrics - 5/10
10/20
12. Lasers - This is Party tryna sound like Drizzy now. Wack. I've heard Nigerian R&B mess that goes harder than this shit. Now he's tryin' out his fake Nigerian accent. Jus' in case I'm dissin' a Naija boy, lemme check son out here....
PartyNextDoor - Birthplace: Ontario
Yeah, I thought so. Miss me wit' that fake accent son, you wack.
Drake comin' out wit' this:
"Never thought I'd see the day you cry
'Til you cried in my arms that night
Said he hit you after that one fight
Closed fist, he's fried, I'm heated
I don't really want to speak about it"
This thing soundin' like he tryna diss Kendrick by writin' fan fiction 'bout Kendrick's wife. Idiot. The rest of this mess so damn cringy, it ain't worth talkin' 'bout.
Beats - 5/10
Lyrics - 4/10
9/20
13. Meet Your Padre - Oh my gosh. This SHIT HORRIBLE. This gotta be the worst Spanish accent I've ever had the misfortune of hearin', ON ME! We got bars like this: "I see your body is like Coca-Cola". Word?! Ain't no gal in this world who gonna be swept off her feet wit' this junk. Party's fake Mexican accent gotta be even wacker. Son sound like he breathin' in agave flowers on the weekends. Shit soft, wack, N' FAKE!!
Beats - 3/10
Lyrics - 2/10
5/20
14. Nokia - Okay y'all. This track got an actual beat to it, word. Drake's kinda tryna spit but he jus' missin' cause the rhymes is terrible, plus this hook corny as hell. Whateva, this one gonna be a club hit. We got this wack lines tho' that'll be goin' over most people's heads:
"Ayy, how many hoes in this club?
Is it just me and you, my love?
I don't mean to call you no hoe
I just heard about the things that you do, my love
And you're just like me, if it's true, my love, ayy"
So son's callin' his girl a hoe, then he sayin' she ain't, but then kinda rethinks that shit, an' realises she is. Wack. Dumb. Otherwise, big ups to Elkan for makin' a tight dancin' beat that got some kick to it.
Beats - 8/10
Lyrics - 4/10
12/20
15. Die Trying - What in the thrift store Ed Sheeran is this beat y'all?! This joint barely rap y'all. I'mma skip. Advisin' y'all to do the same.
Beats - 0/10
Lyrics - 5/10
5/20
16. Somebody Loves Me - Party's sangin' shit on the first verse of this joint so damn bad n' off key I had to rip my earbuds out my head! Drake's verse soft as hell, but seemin' like fire next to Party's wack ass terrible, jus' downright awful sangin'. Damn, fire that guy! First he fakin' Afrobeats, now he sangin' like he got a sore throat! Yikes!!
Beats - 5/10
Lyrics- 3/10
8/20
17. Celibacy - I almost fell asleep listenin' to this wack shit. Shit's soft. This the typa stuff Jojo Siwa be fallin' asleep to when she in her pink feather bed wit' anime girl pillows n' mess. Flake tellin' his girl "It's been four months and two weeks and thirty-six hours, and eight minutes since you've been pleased". That's gotta be how long that first verse lasted. Party comin' out here wit' the creepy-ass stalker's anthem I guess:
"Life is good between your thighs
Shake you 'til your paralyzed
I'm rocking you straight to sleep
Love having you so weak"
Beats - 3/10
Lyrics - 3/10
6/20
18. OMW - Aight. I can see how Drake built this album. Son wrote a buncha songs, a hit (Nokia), then jus' plain lost the plot. The mixin' here ain't worth a damn, skip.
Beats - 5/10
Lyrics - 4/10
9/20
19. Glorious - This beat here kinda soundin' like it took the drums off Baby Keem's track "The Hillbillies" wit' Kendrick. Maybe I'm jus' imaginin', but I dunno. Then we got the second verse which all 'bout how Drake stole the chick of this kid who tryna make it big in music. Hmmmmm. Maybe a sneak diss, I dunno.
Beats - 6/10
Lyrics - 4/10
10/20
20. When He’s Gone - Party's first verse on here kinda goin' into off key territory. Ain't get all the way there, but it's still mad wack sangin'. Word is bond y'all, they been hypin' up Party like he some sort of R&B genius. Shit ain't good Afrobeats or good R&B. It jus' wack.
Drake's verse borin' as fuck. Word, I'm yawnin' y'all, son's a melatonin bottle on vinyl, namsayin'? He a sleepin' bag son, he soft as one too. Yawwwwwnnn.
Beats - 5/10
Lyrics - 5/10
10/20
21. Greedy - The first few bars here takin' more shots at Kenny wit'out namin' son. The beat here blah. Drake's sangin' all over the beat, damn, I'mma 'bout to fall asleep, word. Wack ass outro y'all, on me.
Beats - 4/10
Lyrics - 5/10
9/20
Aight. That's in the books y'all. Let's check this final score out:
178/420
42%
This album was borin' as hell y'all. This shit had me up here noddin' off a few times. I'm glad I reviewed it jus' so I could check into what all the noise over it's 'bout, but damn, I ain't gonna be listenin' to none of this again. This tape got perfumed lotion comin' out my ears. Damn, it's like Drizzy jus' can't make an actually dope track to save his life. Word. Aight, I'mma be outta here till next time, peace!
Comments
Post a Comment